Friday, April 13, 2012

Alexander the Great vs Sun Tzu


Beginning Analysis: What will happen when the greatest military minds from Greece & China go head to head? Read on to see who...is...deadliest!?

Alexander the Great
Short Range: Kopis Sword
Medium Range: Xyston Spear
Long Range: Gastrophetes
Special: Ballista
Armor: Bronze Breastplate & Iron Helmet

Sun Tzu
Short Range: Jian Sword
Medium Range: Zhua
Long Range: Repeating Crossbow
Special: Flaming Arrows
Armor: Leather Armor & Bronze Helmet

Who Got the Edge
Kopis vs Jian: Both swords get the edge. Alexander has nothing covering his arms or legs, and even his neck isn't covered (Though his helmet covers most of his head). As seen on Vlad the Impaler vs Sun Tzu, the Jian is capable of cutting through limbs with speed & precision. Meanwhile, the Kopis has some bludgeoning capability along with it's cutting power, and can easily go through Sun Tzu's leather armor (although it won't necessarily go through his Bronze Helmet).
Xyston vs Zhua: The Xyston gets the edge. It's length will mean more kills before Sun Tzu or one of his soldiers can close the distance and attempt to whack Alexander with the Zhua. On top of that, the Xyston will easily go through Sun Tzu's leather armor, while the Zhua will just dent Alexander's metal breastplate (though it will certainly give him a serious headache).
Gastrophetes vs Repeating Crossbow: The Repeating Crossbow gets the edge. The Repeating Crossbow holds up to 10 bolts, while the Gastrophetes can only hold 1 bolt. In addition to ammo capacity, it is easier to reload the Repeating Crossbow, and it can deliver poisoned bolts. The Gastrophetes, meanwhile, is simply too clunky to work with.
Ballista vs Flaming Arrows: The Flaming Arrows get the edge. While the Ballista has range, it takes over a minute to reload, reposition, reset, and fire. With the Flaming Arrows, you simply light the soaked wad, and fire it. The only problem with these is that fact that they'll go out when they hit Alexander's breastplate.
Bronze Breastplate & Iron Helmet vs Leather Armor & Bronze Helmet: Alexander's armor gets the edge. Although the breastplate & helmet are heavier, they can block & deflect a wider variety of attacks, while Sun Tzu's armor can only take light damage before they become useless.

Setup
It was a bright day in the state of Wu. The breeze was calm, and the birds were chirping. The pleasantness would not last much longer.
At his home, Sun Tzu was busy writing the next chapter in his military classic, the Art of War, when he heard a knock at his front door. He beckoned one of his servants to go see who it was, and a couple seconds later, the servant brought back a figured dressed in bronze, and wearing an iron helmet.
"Ah, Alexander, you've arrived." spoke Sun Tzu. "I didn't think you'd make it here, given the Attilla business and such."
"I told you not to talk about that." responded Alexander. "Besides, you had to deal with that Vlad guy..."
Sun Tzu waived his hand. "Alright, alright, I get it." he said.
Alexander the Great walked right over to Sun Tzu, who was sitting on his knees in front of a tiny table. On it was a ink vial, a writing brush, and some paper, most of which was written on. Sun Tzu went back to writing, and Alexander the Great hovered over the strategist's shoulder.
"Hey, do you mind?" asked Sun Tzu.
"Mind what?" Alexander asked back.
"Do you mind not hovering over my shoulder?" spoke Sun Tzu.
"Why?" asked Alexander.
"Because I don't want anybody to read this before it's finished." responded Sun Tzu.
"Not even a peek?" Alexander asked innocently.
"No, not even a peek." Sun Tzu replied.
Alexander the Great got up off his knees, and drew his Kopis. He pointed it at Sun Tzu, who didn't even flinch. All he did was keep on writing, and didn't even bat Alexander an eye.
"Mind putting that away?" asked Sun Tzu.
"No." Alexander replied. "No I won't!"
Sun Tzu sighed, and put his writing brush down. He got up from sitting, and reached for the Jian that was right behind him. He drew the blade out of it's sheathe, just as his servant can running in holding a Zhua. Sensing an opportunity to see if his servant had taken the Art of War to heart, Sun Tzu stepped back, and ordered his servant to fight Alexander. The servant stepped up, and Alexander went on the offensive.
Alexander went right in, and immediately started swinging his Kopis around. The servant blocked the blows with the iron Zhua. Although the weapon was heavy, the servant was able to nimbly move around the small courtyard, and stay on the defensive.
"Now!" yelled Sun Tzu. "Hit it him now!"
The Servant nodded, and swung at Alexander's chest. Alexander flew back from the blow, and landed on his side. He got back up from the assault, with a dent in his breastplate, and a renewed desire to fight. Just as the servant was about to land a second blow, a lond wooden bolt flew through the air, and went right through his heart. The Zhua fell to the floor, then the servant's body fell.

Alexander the Great: 3/Sun Tzu: 2

Sun Tzu looked up, and saw one of Alexander's soldiers standing on the roof before the courtyard, holding what looked liked a giant crossbow. The soldier picked up a twelve foot spear, and tossed it near Alexander's feet. As he was trying to pull it out of the ground, Sun Tzu picked up his Repeating Crossbow, and aimed it at Alexander's soldier, who was attempting to reload the giant crossbow. One well placed shot to the throat a second later, and the soldier was down for the count.

Alexander the Great: 2/Sun Tzu: 2

Alexander looked upward, and saw his soldier fall off the roof, and hit the ground with a loud thud. He turned around just in time to have Sun Tzu tackle him. They both went flying to the ground, and began to pummel the other. A couple seconds later, and Alexander puched Sun Tzu off of him. Getting back up, Alexander finally pulled his spear out of the ground, just as Sun Tzu picked up the Zhua that his servant was using.
Meanwhile, another one of Alexander's soldiers was standing watch near a setup Ballista, which was aimed at Sun Tzu's courtyard. He kept an eye on the fight with a telescope, but what he should have been paying attention to was himself. As he looked on, Sun Tzu's second servant was sneaking up to the Ballista, armed with a bow, and an arrow ready to light his enemy's day. The servant knelt down, and lit the arrow on fire. He aimed it, and fired it straight at the feet of the soldier. Earlier in the day, the servant had poured sesame oil on that spot, just in case something like this would happen. The soldier had now learned the meaning of the term "Hot Foot."

Alexander the Great: 1/Sun Tzu: 2

After the fire went out, the servant went over to example the freshly burned body. His attention then became fixed on the Ballista, and the gears began to turn in his head as he stroked his chin.
Back at Sun Tzu's house, both men though they smelt something burning, but all they could smell (or see), was a few wisps of smoke floating through the air. Besides this, they each went back to using their swords, since they desired to get a little more close and personal, and using their longer weapons wouldn't sate their desire.
"I really don't want to go through this all day long." spoke Sun Tzu. "All I wanted to do was just write, and not have to fight a crybaby."
"If you just let me have a look, then we wouldn't have to go through all of this." responded Alexander, who charged Sun Tzu with his Kopis pointed forward. Sun Tzu blocked the charged, but at the cost of his Jian shattering into two pieces. He ducked out of the way just as Alexander's sword went flying towards his neck, and would up in the middle of the small courtyard. It wasn't until Alexander was in the middle with him when Sun Tzu through he heard a whistling sound. Even Alexander paused from combat for a moment to try and figure out what the whistling sound was.
A couple seconds later, Sun Tzu though he saw a spear flying hign in the air. Alexander raised a hand to his eyes, and tried to look for the spear that Sun Tzu spotted. A couple seconds later, and Alexander the Great spotted the flying spear. Unfortunately for him, the spear was about to go through him, and impale him to the floor. He was able to utter out two words before the spear went through his breastplate, and into his heart.

"Oh ****."

Alexander the Great: 0/Sun Tzu: 2

Sun Tzu: 575
Jian Sword: 300
Zhua: 200
Repeating Crossbow: 50
Flaming Arrows: 25

Alexander the Great: 425
Kopis Sword: 200
Xyston Spear: 200
Gastrophetes: 20
Ballista: 5

Ending Assessment: Sun Tzu took more things into account, and thus was able to triumph the more up-front strategies of Alexander the Great.
Strongest Weapon: With a limb-slicing 300 kills, the Jian takes the strongest weapon spot.
Weakest Weapon: Given it's length of time to reset, and 5 measly kills, the Ballista is the weakest weapon of this fight.

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