Handsome Jack Quick Bio
Now hold on for just a second. You can't just take a piece of a wiki, and copy it down. Especially when it comes to someone who's as smart, suave, and sexy.....like me!
If you want to know more about me, here's the skinny (Is that how the kids say it?): My name's Handsome Jack, I own Hyperion, I built a metal "H" into the moon, I practically own a planet, and I'm handsome! There you go! That's all you need to know about good old Handsome Jack!
Handsome Jack Weapons
Short Range: Conference Call
Medium Range: Logan's Gun
Long Range: Bitch
Special: Invader
Mr. Torgue Quick Bio
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M MR. TORGUE! I'M 43 YEARS OLD, AND I'M THE FOUNDER OF THE TORGUE CORPORATION. I LIKE EXPLOSIONS, MOTORBIKES, EXPLOSIONS, BACON, EXPLOSIONS, LADIES (AND GUYS), EXPLOSIONS, PUPPIES, COOKIES, AND.....OH F*CK, I FORGOT. WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW.........IT WAS EXPLOSIONS!!!!!!
Mr. Torgue Weapons
Short Range: Flakker
Medium Range: Unkempt Harold
Long Range: Kerblaster
Special: Nukem
Who Got The Edge
Conference Call vs Flakker: The Conference Call gets the edge. The Flakker does incredible amount of damage, often killing a target it perhaps one to two shots. The biggest problem with the Flakker is that because of it's special effect, targets can only get hurt if they are within range of it's cone-like burst. So, while the Conference Call might not do as much damage as the Flakker, it's a more accurate weapon, and it's effect multiplies how many pellets it can produce.
Logan's Gun vs Unkempt Harold: The Unkempt Harold gets the edge. The Logan's Gun can dish out some alright damage (It's always incendiary, and the projectiles explode), it's effect makes it somewhat tricky to use (The projectiles travel through targets, but not through walls & such) if you want to apply direct damage to the enemy. While the Unkempt Harold's shot pattern is weird, and it consumes 3 ammo per shot, the amount of damage it can deal means it will take out targets more quickly than the Logan's Gun will.
Bitch vs Kerblaster: Both weapons get the edge. The Bitch has the highest bonus to critical hit damage in Borderlands 2, not to mention that it obtains it's high accuracy quicker than every other Hyperion weapon available. Chief problem is that it's really only good against single targets, due to it's high accuracy & bonus critical hit damage. With the Kerblaster, each shot you fire is essential two: you have the initial shot, and you have the grenade that comes after it (The grenade explodes almost instantly). The amount of damage a high-level Kerblaster can dish out is incredible, but it consumes 4 ammo per shot, and it's fire rate tends to be rather slow.
Invader vs Nukem: The Nukem gets the edge. When it's scoped, the Invader can pop off 5 rounds, which is an unusual feature for a Hyperion weapon. Coupled with an increased magazine size, you can be a little more trigger happy with this sniper rifle than you can with others. Tragically, the Invader's biggest weakness is that it's damage is severely reduced. Even when you acquire a level 72 version, the amount of damage it can deal is still less than many of the other sniper rifles in the game (Regardless of certain rarities). With the Nukem, it's disadvantages are an incredibly slow reload (Which I call bullshit on, but I'll talk about it at a later time), and it uses 2 rockets per shot (I've seen Nukem capacities from 2 to 4). The launcher compensates by dealing the most damage out of all the rocket launchers in the game. It also helps by having rockets that explode in a mushroom cloud.
Common Quality
Personality: Both of these warriors have big personalities. Handsome Jack has a massive ego, and constantly shows it off to his enemies, as well as those within Hyperion. He also won't hesitate to kill anyone/anything in front of him if it means he stays on top. Mr. Torgue is very reminiscent of Macho Man Randy Savage (Of WWF Wrestling fame). He's larger than life, rambunctious, obsessed with explosions, metal, gasoline, and bacon. However, it's also quite the progressive & nice person, and is apparently bisexual. Go figure!?
Setup
It was a fine day in the Badass Crater of Badassitude. The sun was high in the sky, and the heat was brutal. In the middle of the crater was Torgue's Arena, a giant structure that was abuzz with activity, thanks to the tournament. As the Vault Hunter was climbing up the ranks of the official tournament, Mr. Torgue setup up a small exhibition match, calling out to anyone who was manly & badass enough to take him on.
The seats of the arena was jam-packed with hordes of fight fans. Bandits, Crimson Raiders, it didn't matter. People were excited for the fight that was to come, and when Mr. Torgue showed up in the middle of the arena, the crowd's roaring & cheering rose to a fevered pitch. Speaker feedback rang for a second or two, but when Mr. Torgue's voice came over the speakers, there was silence.
"WELCOME TO THE TORGUE EXHIBITION MATCH!!" Torgue yelled out. "AS YOU KNOW, THE VAULT HUNTER IS STEADILY CLIMBING UP THE RANKS OF OUR BADASS TOURNAMENT, BUT I THOUGHT THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A NICE F*CKING DISTRACTION, BEFORE THE VAULT HUNTER BECOMES THE NUMBER 1 BADASS OF PANDORA!!"
As Mr. Torgue continued yelling & the crowd was cheering, a ping like noise began echoing through the whole arena, managing to even overcome Torgue's boistrous voice, but only just. The ping noise was coming closer & closer to the arena, until a giant Hyperion supply crate came crashing through the roof. It landed with a loud slam, sending shockwaves through the place. Torgue dropped the mike, and the door of the crate opened up. Four Hyperion commandos immediately came out, brandishing their guns, and pointing them right at Mr. Torgue's face.
"HOLY F*CKS*IT!!" Torgue shouted. "WHO THE HELL INVITED YOU SKAGSUCKING KILLJOYS!!?"
"I did." said a smooth voice. The jaws of the entire crowd hit the floor when they saw who it was that spoke.
"HANDSOME JACK!!??" howled Torgue. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE!!??"
"Oh, that's easy." spoke Jack "It's called a damn moon satellite...built in the moon. You know what a moon is, right?"
As he finished his sentence, one of his guards immediately blew up, leaving behind a pair of smoking boots. Jack just looked at them, took a picture of them, and then went "Huh". He was looking back a Torgue, who was aiming an Unkempt Harold right at them.
Handsome Jack: 4/Mr. Torgue: 5
"YOU KNOW, I WAS GONNA HAVE AN EXHIBITION MATCH RIGHT NOW! INSTEAD, I THINK I"LL JUST TAKE YOU GUYS OUT!" Shouted Torgue. As he was screaming at the top of his lungs (Along with the crowd cheering just as loudly), 4 Torgue engineers came to his side. Almost immediately, two of them were shot right in the head, thanks to one of the commandos getting to a sniping position. "Fine by me." said Jack as he smiled sinisterly.
Handsome Jack: 4/Mr Torgue: 3
"WELL THEN....LET THE MOTHERF*CKING GAMES BEGIN!" said (by this stage of the game, this is how Torgue normally speaks) Torgue. A round alarm rang out, and the two sides began gaining better ground. Torgue and one of the engineers ran into a shack to plan things out. Meanwhile, the other engineer was behind cover, thanks in part to the sniping commando. Taking the Nukem off of his back, he got into place where the commando couldn't get a clear shot. Taking a second or two to aim the launcher, the engineer fired the weapon, and the rocket roared towards the sniper. He managed to jump away from his spot, but not before the rocket slammed into the crate where he was sniping. At first he thought he was okay, but then the crate came falling down, and crushed him flat.
Handsome Jack: 3/Mr. Torgue: 3
The engineer was happy with the explosive work he did. Unfortunately, his joy was short lived. Flaming spikes suddenly impaled his chest, and they burst into flames a moment later, consuming the engineer in seconds.
Handsome Jack: 3/Mr. Torgue: 2
Mr. Torgue looked out from the shack, and saw the pile of ashes that was the formerly living engineer. "What are we going to do?" asked the surviving engineer. He saw that Mr. Torgue had a worried look on his face, something that almost never happened. Torgue immediately turned around, and attempted to rouse his worker with encouraging words.
"TORGUE ENGINEER, THIS IS YOUR TIME! THE ODDS MAY BE STACKED AGAINST YOU, BUT YOU WORK FOR THE BADASS COMPANY THAT IS THE TORGUE CORPORATION. NOW, GRAB THAT FLAKKER, GO OUT THERE, AND MAKE THEM EXPLODE!!!!!"
The engineer nodded. He picked up the shotgun in question, and charged out of the shack blasting the weapon off. The two commando were firing back at him, seemingly missing the engineer. With only one shot left, the engineer fired the Flakker, and managed to shred up one commando to bloody, exploded pieces.
Handsome Jack: 2/Mr. Torgue: 2
Tired from the charging & exploding, the engineer slowly made his way back to the shack. Just before he was able to speak to Mr. Torgue, a hail of SMG fire went right through him, shredding up his organs, and making him look like a human-sized block of swiss cheese. As the body fell, the only thing Torgue could do was let out a loud yet somehow goofy "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
Handsome Jack: 2/Mr. Torgue: 1
Shedding a manly tear, Mr. Torgue slowly walked out of the shack, holding a Kerblaster in his hands. Right in front of him was Handsome Jack, who was busy laughing at the muscle-bound man. "Ha, this is what Torgue has to offer?" He said as he laughed "No wonder I'm taking over this planet so easily!" As he aimed the Bitch SMG that he was holding at Mr. Torgue's head, the surviving commando was sneaking up from behind, trying to get a perfect shot. "You have any last words, before I take your puny company?" Handsome Jack said sinisterly.
Mr. Torgue was standing there, silent as all of the exploded arena fighters before him. "JUST ONE!" said Torgue.
"What's that?" asked Jack.
"EEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXPPPPPPLLLLLLLOOOSSSIOOOONSSSSSSSSSS!!!!" yelled Torgue. As Jack fired off the Bitch, Torgue fired the Kerblaster right at him. The rocket managed to hit a metal post near Jack, but it didn't kill him. Seeing a gleam in the metal, Torgue saw the commando behind him, and shot him with the Unkempt Harold, thus taking him out before his foe had a chance to shoot back.
Handsome Jack: 1/Mr. Torgue: 1
Handsome Jack stood up from behind a barrel, and just started to laugh. "Come on, why can't you die!?" he asked loudly as he laughed.
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU EXPLODED YET?" Torgue asked back.
Jack formed a confused look on his face. Just then, he saw a grenade right at his feet. Before the device exploded, he was able to get out only one word. "Shit!"
Handsome Jack: 0/Mr. Torgue: 1
Handsome Jack: 310
Conference Call: 200
Logan's Gun: 10
Bitch: 60
Invader: 40
Mr. Torgue: 690
Flakker: 30
Unkempt Harold: 60
Kerblaster: 270
Nukem: 330
Ending Assessment: To quote Mr. Torgue: EXPLOSIONS!
Strongest Weapon: With a earth breaker 330 kills, the Nukem is the strongest weapon of this fight.
Weakest Weapon: With only 10 kills, the Logan's Gun is the weakest weapon of this fight.
Next Fight: Batman vs Max Payne
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